Counter Thingy that Counts Crap

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Man, I'm glad this is over.

Friday: Wound up taking off at noon in order to get to Joliet in a timely manner. Glad we did, as there was apparently a monsoon between Cville and Springfield, and it took us over 4 hours to get to J-town, maybe closer to 5. Hung out for a few minutes after checking it, and Liz/John showed up with Sarah in tow. Hung out waiting for Matt/Jeremy to pick up Sarah, and then rolled out to explore Joliet and find some grub.

Wound up at a Mexican joint called SeƱor Tequila, where the salsa was mind-numbing hot (awesome), the waiters were pushing the 46 oz. Margaritas (awesome), and also had holsters with bottles of tequila in them (awesome). Ordered some combo plate I can't remember the name of that whooped my ass something fierce with some incredible steak thing goin on. (awesome.) Headed to Jewel to get provisions for the weekend and stocking the fridge in our room, which apparently was the only fridge-equipped room in the Hampton. Figures. That comes into play later.

Watched the end of the World Series in our room whilest John and I drank Old Style Lite while the womens had vodka/juice products, and we played some random drinking games, drank too much, then decided it was a good idea to swim/jacuzzi. Played some drunken reverse chicken, had 9' swimming races. Good times. Went our seperate ways after that (I think). Went to bed at some point, I think.

Saturday: Woke up at some point, met Kerwins for shady continental breakfast. Hung out in room for a short while, met up with the Soon-to-be Schweigharts. Rolled out to the Mansion just before noon for rehersal action. Mansion was awesome. Wedding was rehearsed. Went back to hotel afterwards to chill out I think? I don't remember. Maybe not. Went to the mall afterwards. Women waitied around to get nails done, guys got tuxes and tried them on, and then food court food was had. Went back to the hotel after that for a bit. That sounds right. I worked on my best man speech, and people...watched TV and drank in our room I think. Maybe. I dunno.

Eventually made our way (after getting lost, and forgetting to tell Jim we were leaving) to the resturaunt for the rehersal dinner. Open bar with a halfway retarded bartender. (No, there's no Malibu in a Sapphire and Tonic. Also, my "Crown and Coke" was apparently poured out of some mystery cup of whiskey that we couldn't identify). But free booze is free booze, so I boozed it up. Had an awesome time hanging out with everyone, meeting new people, and having an incredible meal. Drank more. Headed back to the hotel, where we....drank more. Chris eventually gathered up all the guys and handed out the groomsmen gifts; fucking incredible personalized humidors stocked with Fuentes and all the trimmings. Way awesome. Went outside to freeze our balls off and smoke some stogies. Romeo was the man and rolled with a cooler bag, so we hung out around the lobby alternately smoking and drinking his beer until it was gone around 3a.

Sunday: I was awoken at 7:30 by the herds of women congregating in my room, which was volunteered for hair/makeup staging. Thusly, I was kicked out and left to my own devices. Took my laptop to the lobby, had some food, and finished composing my speech. Then being the awesome man I am, headed back to Jewel to get Mimosa items and fruit for the ladies. Had to kill time since they don't sell before 10a on sundays in joliet (bastards). Killed time, spent a shiteload of cash on items, and headed back. Delivered items, then tried to find a spot to plant my displaced self. Attempted to crash in Jim's room for a short while before giving up, then headed to Nate's room, slept for approxmiately 10 minutes, then decided to give up the idea of rest since we needed to eat, and I needed to bathe and prep for the wedding. Had some BK, which instantly made me non-hungover and awake. Thanks King!

Went back to the hotel, found a room to bathe and change in, then rolled to the mansion, where I was immediately innundated with one mini-catastrophe after another (where's this music, where's the frantic Japanese lady, where's the groom at, where are the unity candles, etc). Showtime came, and despite all the freaking out, the ceremony went awesome aside from some asshole blaring Ludacris through half of it. Cocktails, hours de vours were had during pictures, then the reception began, leading off with my suddenly-shaky self plodding through my best man speech and nearly knocking my glass over in an effort to toast the happy couple. Food and much more booze was had (hooray for open bars). Thriller, Footloose, James Brown, jig, dance-off, the Worm, and other random shite went down. Good party for a Sunday night. Wrapped around 11, made our way back to the hotel where our room was once again declared party central while the hardcore folks made their way to the casino. We basically kicked people out around 130, and hit the sack.

Monday: I woke up around 6 with the urge to hurl and a stomach that woudln't quit convulsing. Calmed items down with a string of burps and farts that would embarrass a llama. Helen's mom knocked on the door at 7, and we were up. In proper Kingston style, we crammed shit into bags, grabbed a quickie breakfast and were on the road at 8:30a. Cruise control was locked on 85, except for the cop festival outside of Springfield, and somehow we made it back to Collinsville in 3 hours flat via some sort of I55 south timewarp. Hit Ruby Tuesday for lunch, got the dog, headed home, unpacked, and I took a much-deserved nap until 6p. Was awoken by Ellen around then, had sex and chili dog (not at the same time), ellen went to bed shortly after watching a bit of TV, I stayed up till about 10 doinking around on the computer and playing xbox.

This weekend entails NOTHING. It'll rock.

Congrats once again to Chris and Cari, y'all rock. It was awesome seeing everyone and their brother, and meeting some decent Californians.

Red bull, take me away.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Oh man.

Here's yet another reason the world is screwed if I ever have a kid...

Monday, October 23, 2006


yah, i'm seriously non-functional today. my brain is mush. i can't focus, or type. I hope nothing important happens today.

Holy hell

In accordance with man law #28912, I can't divulge the full details of this weekend. This is partially because I don't remember, though. Here's your highlight reel.

Friday: Meet up, drink, drink, eat a ton of steak and crab and wine, buy BB guns drunk @ wal-mart, play poker until 6a.
Saturday: Play hockey, go to STC, race karts (Awesome), head back, meet rob for supper, drink a shitload of sake and sapporo, eat mucho sushi. Bounce around bars/clubs on landing, play blackjack, go to strip clubs, take cab home at 6a.
Sunday: Watch football, eat BWW, watch Hard Candy, eat pie, sleep.

Things I learned:
-Racing suits hug the nuts.
-Do NOT hit the brakes late coming into turn 4.
-Rob can drink 3 martinis in the time it takes to train in from IL to downtown.
-Everything can be put on a scale of 1-10, including inebriation.
-Nate did NOT cause the poop flood of 06.
-Off-duty strippers are friendly
-Shaved heads apparently get all the hoes. This is something I coulda stood to learn like 10 years ago.
-I apparently look like I was in town for the mixed martial arts matches. This only solidifies the fact that I need to work out more (at all).
-Always double down on 11.
-Rolando has a beautiful singing voice.
-Chris has a way with cabbies.
-Strip-club bratwurst are fucking incredible.
-Smell Nate's glasses.
-Lesbian chair.
-Jim did NOT puke in the back of the cab.
-Friends are awesome.
-I'm broke.

1 more weekend of hell, then my body can collapse upon itself. Luckily, I have sick time now. Airborne and Redbull this week.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Yah buddy

I had Hot n' Spicy Chex Mix a minute ago. It was fucking fab. My breath reeks now, however. I figured I should tell someone.

Today is already wasted, methinks. I may start loading a server for the new version of websense, or start playing with virtualization, not sure. I need to go check in on some construction minions building me a new server room. That's all's I got's. Tomorrow is the beginning of the "weekend of debauchery" section of Oktoberfest. This week went by real fucking fast. Awesome.

Ellen made me get a 'bar shirt' for Saturday. Apparently I need to look decent for the hoes. Macy's hooked me up with some button-down action and and OE shirt. Yes, I shall be pimpin.

Look out hoes.

This weekend should rock. The 4 of us haven't really hung out in any real capacity since early college years. Now we're old. So it should prove interesting. And strippers.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


I hate the immediate post-last-bite buyer's remorse when eating McDonald's. It's something generally along the lines of "ugh, wtf did I just eat that for". But, I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast this morning, something about waking up at 7:15 instead of 6:45. So I was hungry. And didn't have time to make a sammich obviously.

So, there you go.

I did get more Monopoly pieces, which is key to putting more shit on my desk.

Da Bears?

So, I really wanted to watch the Bears/Cardinals game last night. It really sucked ass for the first 3.25 quarters, so I passed out at the start of the 4th quarter due to physical exhaustion. DVR failed me due to 29 reviews during the game, so it quit recording at 9:00 left in the 4th.

My goal this morning is to find out wtf happened in the last 9:00. I know the Bears won, I just wanna see it though.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Oktoberfest Weekend #1

Speed version of the weekend, in an attempt to solidify the insane-ness of it all.

Thursday: Drove to Loda. Slept.

Friday: Took Ellen to Mahomet, took Rob to Enterprise, Staples, Best Buy, Subway, and hotel. Got hotel room. Took dump. Tried on tux. Drove to Paxton. Washed car. Got Helen. Drove to Fisher. Got there at 3:15. Tried to find something to do in Fisher. Found nothing but cows. Stalked the Schwan's man. Drove part way to Gibson City. Drove around Fisher some more. Found Steve. Waited around for people. People showed up. Waited around for minister. Minister showed up. Did rehearsal. Went to Champaign. Ate messican fuud and drank beer on Mr. Lammle. It was good. Went to Murphy's, met up Kerwins and Hanner. Drank carbombs. Drank beer. Drank more carbombs. Go cards. Went to Legends. Drank more beer. Went to the hotel. Got callled by Grice. Went to Merry Ann's. 80 cups of coffee waiting on Grice. Had Stack. More coffee. Went to hotel. Passed out.

Saturday: Woke up. Got dressed, drove to Paxton. Hung out with family. Got Subway. Drove to Champaign. Ate Subway, put on tux. Got scotch. Drove to Fisher. Got photographed. Watched Nate and Monte play the most hardcore pingpong ever. Played headless foosball with Steve. Hung out, found video games on our way upstairs, damn. Waited around for a bit, then Rob got married. Then we went to Champaign again. Reception'd! Met Soniya and Erik (Harvard Law) finally. Drank entirely too much, ate salad from a martini glass. Had scotch. Had stogie. Got schooled by Cline on Scotch. Watched people make asses of themselves. Got hugged by JK. A lot. Yay Thriller! American Pie. Went downtown. 2EMain/Guidos. Met Pete en route. Awesome guy. Had drinks, figured out where the PBL contingent went. Lots of people thought I was a bouncer. Checked some ID's. Fucked with really drunk guy via intimidation. Got hat. Helen is a pirate hooker. Explained intricacies of Karma to Ellen/Helen. Drank more. Went to Merry Ann's. Had more coffee and another Stack. Went to hotel. Drank more Scotch. Got called a silly son of a bitch. Wandered halls looking for life at 3a. No luck. Called people. Left voicemails. Passed out at some point.

Sunday: Woke up. Packed. Drove to Tuscola. Ate Monical's. Drove to Collinsville. Unpacked. Took nap. Ordered Pizza Hut. Watched Posidon. It sucked. Watched Heros. It rocked the ass hardcore. Went to bed.

1 weekend of hell down, 2 to go. Bears play tonight. Must tivo since I'll probably be asleep at 7.

The Redbull does nothing!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Currently operating at 83%.

Seriously. NyQuil and Airborne. I hate the fact that it works, but my 2 day cold is a testament.

I'm seriously rocking butt at work. Through my spurts of doing nothing, I come through with da quickness when it actually matters. Meetings about crap I've stirred up are happening all week.

I have entirely too much cash in my checking account, considering most my bills are paid for the month. I'm in a weird part of my bi-weekly pay rotation. I'm scared to do anything with that money because I'm sure next week I'll be broke. Also, wedding hell. I did splurge on... oil last night for the cars. You know, the little prizes to yourself. Tried to buy brakes for Ellen's car, but the computer at Advance Auto thinks I'm wrong and insists that only Jetta GLS made in 2002 that was a 4 cyl was also a turbo, which is wrong. Or her car isn't a GLS. But I'm pretty sure that's what the VIN said. Regardless, I didn't buy brakes.

Planning for Chris' bachelor party has gone awry. And by that, I mean the logistics and money are killing my soul. And it's next weekend. I know in the grand scheme it doesn't matter cuz we're just gonna get plowed, but I'd like to ensure that we're not stuck out in the middle of East St. Louis at 4am on a Saturday. But to do that, we have to spend a buttload on a limo, which we'd only use to get back and forth from Sauget. Therein lies the quandry.

Today's goals are:
--Meetings regarding server relocation and major digitzation project that I kinda flipped on end
--Find kennel for the dog for this weekend
--Maintain current levels of operation, attempt to increase without the aid of DayQuil
--Clean office

Short week, so that's nice. Next week is also short. The week after that is a full week, but then the next two weeks after that are short weeks too. Then another full week, then it's Thanksgiving. Damn.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Non-witty-ly titled weekend update

Friday: Met up with Helen and her new potential beau, Eric at Ramon's for the standard ultra-loud mariachi, food and booze. Went back to the homestead to chill afterwards, where much booze was consumed, games were played, then hit the jacuzzi for newly-regulated (yay new thermostat) hot bubbly water goodness. They bailed some point. I was plowed, and the water and booze were inviting, so we stayed in a bit longer, I apparently txted nate to come over and "gt wet". We got out shortly after though since we were waterlogged. Resisted urges to drunkenly eat everything, and hit the sack.

Saturday: Woke up at some point, put the top down on the Mustang and headed south on Rte 159 in search of the elusive Michelob Golden Draft/Light. Our travels took us past the Chili festivus in Belleville, through a bunch of stupid farm towns, past a bunch of tractors, and into Red Bud, IL. We went in and bought all their warm Michelob, which was 12 6 packs worth, which is oddly all I can fit in the truck of the Mustang. $70 and an hour later, we were on our way back north. Wound up north of Collinsville in Glen Carbon for Radio Shack and Goodwill lovin. Went back south on 159 again to Collinsville to unpack, then got back on 159 south again to meet up with Chet/Erin/mom and dad Ward at J. Bucks where damn good fish sandwich lovin, more beer, and crown and cokes were had. Headed over to Chets to watch the Yankees game, and watch people get drunk. It was about this time the cold I'd been staving off for 3 weeks decided to kick in. Came home around 10/11 cuz I felt like shit. Took some Nyquil and went to bed while Ellen researched Elloween costumes.

Sunday: Woke up sometime around noon, took Dayquil and mass doses of Airborne. Slept off and on all day, cursed the lovliness of the day since I was stuck inside sick. Watched Rounders for the first time and Wedding Crashers for the 038902th time (stupid HBO). Took more NyQuil around 9 and went back to bed. That was it.

Trying desperately to get over said cold this week. Sad as it is to say, Airborne really does work. Stupid snake oil. That works.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I lied about the weather.

It was 94 yesterday. Today's high is 64. Take THAT Midwest!

Or something.

It's Thursday. I've got absolutely jack shit to do right now. My website project was ready to roll out on Monday like I had planned, but I'm stuck waiting on blessing from the Director to push it live. And he's in Chicago. So I'm sittin on my butt. I'm doing preliminary work for a big ass digitization project for the paper here, but our head of Genealogy Chicago I think, so I can't do much more on that, and I'm waiting on emails back from a couple different firms with quotes.

Workorders are all caught up, workstation upgrades are mostly done. Most the workstations have been wiped clean in prep for donation/recycling. I'm kinda drawing a blank here. I was going to upgrade to the new version of websense, but I'm waiting for the old web server to use as the new websense server, and I can't do that until I bring the new webserver online.


So, I'm doing this. And listening to Pearl Jam. I forgot how much I love PJ.

Seriously, I have no clue what to do. I could start on this Bob Grahl project, but I don't know wtf I'm doing with it. :) I'm waiting on our laywer to ratify our RFP for the new phone system, so I can't do anything with that.

Really, I'm just waiting. I've got shit cleared out in anticipation of all these huge projects, but I can't do anything with them, so...i'm... yah. Bored.

LOST kinda hurt my head last night. But in a good way. Though it seemed there was a commercial every 2 seconds. Bastards. I really wish I could DVR HD stuff. Not $200 wish, but still.

I just burped Cinnamon Life. You know it.

Gonna be a long day.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Fuck shit Jesus is right...

If you feel like having your head explode today, you should read the entire character bio page for 12 Oz. Mouse on Wikipedia.

Monday, October 02, 2006

A status breifing on a small scottish man named Kend.

Pretty much mirrors Rob's, since I was with him, so I'll recap and fill in the blanks.

Friday: Day off, went to Schnucks and managed to spend $100 buying only liquor, donuts, and ice. I really think that's my crowning achievement of the quarter. I hope it comes up in my review.
Hung out with Rob/Nate until Steve showed, played xbox, drank beer, and shot cans off the jacuzzi from the back porch cuz we're WT like that. Drove to the cabin. Drank.

Drank Heavily.

Went through the majority of 2 fifths of Jager, at least a fifth of Jack, and a shit-lode of beer. Watched the Drunkest Monte I've ever seen do shit with hilarity. Guys went to bed at some point, Nate, Steve and I meandered back to the neighboring cabin to try and crash a wedding party, then wandered to the docks where we chatted, talked about hotwiring boats, and attempted to steal an unladed boat trailer with fantastic results. Somehow missed the fact there was a playground. (!!)

Saturday: I bounced up at the asscrack of 7 feeling like a trillion bux. Got on boat, I drank a lot of beer unsuccessfully while also fishing...unsuccessfully. Long day of waterness wore our asses out, and we just chilled, played poker, and that was about it.

Sunday: Woke up at like 3a with a case of the "what the fuck did you put in me"s from my body. Something was wholey rejected, be it the day old kraut/brats, the cabin-bathtub-defrosted steaks or what. Recovered through the day via mucho sleeping. Had food, dissasembled kitchen in prep for the countertop delivery today, watched Lucky # Slevin (fun flick).

Bud-dee-ba-dee-ba... That's it.

I <3 the Midwest

Friday afternoon I think it was maybe 70 out. Today, 90. Tomorrow? 94. Thursday? 75. With all likeliness, Monday will be 30. Regardless, the top is down, and the car got washed over lunch.