Counter Thingy that Counts Crap

Monday, April 23, 2007

Killing me softly

with booze.

Friday: Ellen had an emergency 'meeting' to counsel one of her old work friends about marital shit. I drank scotch, smoked cigars with the dog (he was just keeping me company, not smoking), and played xbox until 1a. Awesome time. The night started with take-out from Los Caporale's, the home of the best awesome authentic kickass burritos ever made. So stuffed. So good. So fuggin good.

Saturday: Had the intentions of ripping up the back yard and putting in bushes and shrubs and shit, and getting teh dog groomed. Wound up sitting at the muffler shop until noon (was supposed to be done at like 11:45). We were starving, so we went to Eville for the BW3 action. Headed to Home Depot, and decided that we don't know jack shit about bushes, and didn't buy anything. Came home, putzed around the house for a bit until about 330, when Ellen realized she was supposed to make brownies for the BBQ at Helen's. She cooked, I went to HD again to get lumber for Sunday's flowerbed project. Apparent you can fit 8' landscaping timbers in a Jetta with the seat down. Good to know.

Unloaded wood, cleaned up, and headed over to Helens to hang out with the Lammles and Helen's friend Lisa, and her boyfriend. Watched people throw things at stuff, drank beer, enjoyed the most awesome weather ever, and just hung out. Had sweet-sweet burgers and brats and etc. Lisa & Lance left kinda early, Lammles left at like...11? I dunno. We followed shortly after since Helen was near asleep. Wound up at LJ Ducks becuase we're alkies like that. Place was dead due to Karaokee. Ellen forced me to sing. It was a trainwreck. Horrible KJ. Imadork. Left, and wound up back at Friday's South where DJ Slur was spinning some awesome shit. Hung out, chatted up the locals, and bailed around 2:30. Came home, jacuzzi'd for a bit, went to bed around 4:30.

Sunday: Woke up at like...10? Ellen went and got Sonic for breakfast. Super Sonic Burrito all up in this mug. Dragged her outside and cleaned up the side of the garage that had been collecting sticks for the past two years, and put in a flower bed, sans flowers for now. Ate Long John Silvers, which was fucking incredible for some reason. Watched the Good Shephard, which was way too long, but not a horrible movie.


Friday, April 20, 2007

Gotta say it was a good day

Bad news: I accidentally typed in 42 instead of 32 on the snack machine, netting me White Cheddar Cheez-Its instead of a Snickers Crunch.

Good news: White Cheddar Cheez-Its kinda kick all sorts of ass. Wasn't a big fan of regular Cheez-Its, so I was hesitant. But lo and behold, kinda kick ass.

Note to self:

Dear Self,

You don't know a goddamn thing about how to properly maintain a lawn. Hire someone to do it next year after you get things a little less trailer-trashy in the back.

Yo Self.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Awesome is...

Getting your emissions test notice on Monday, when you have plans to remove your catalytic converters that Sunday. Mufflers getting welded in Saturday (since the shop won't touch a car w/ no cats on it).

Um, w00t for killing the environment at the cost of vehicle performance (Sorry Liz).

I drink too much.

In our efforts to make more local friends, I've found myself closing down various bars in Collinsville more often than a 28-year-old person should. It's only bad when the bar closest to your house closes at 3, and doesn't strictly adhere to that deadline.

Friday, spent time at Friday's South chatting up the staff, made our way to Duck's for random encounters out the izzass. Saturday, went back to Duck's late, ran into dudes from Friday night, chatted until close again. Putting forth the effort: priceless. Or something. We definitely slept until noon on Sunday though. It was fab.

What I learned the day before tax deadline, by JK

Despite what the nice people at TaxAct software may have you think by including a bunch of questions about electronic debit, the State of Missouri doesn't do it through software, so you still have to pay your taxes manually. Whoops. Luckily, I had the mind to double-check this shit before the deadline (today). On the downside, I'm now one of those retards who, for one reason or another finishes their taxes at the last possible second.

Monday, April 09, 2007


I know I've told some of you people about my aunt's pug, and how it was all fat and shit.... I never really could convey this effectively, so while I was at Grandma's this weekend, I snapped a pic of the pic of the dog.

Like any good person on the interweb, I have the before/after shot as well.

Yah. Fatass pug.

Kill two birds with one....Mustang.

Friday: Went on a faux date with Beth and Helen/Eric to Olive Garden. Drank a lot, ate ravioli, changed a tire on beth's car, came home, drank beer and played xbox.

Saturday: Woke up around 8, on the road by 9. Drove to Ptown, got in at 11:45 or so, grabbed Just Hamburgers, fucking incredible as always. Ate and hung out with the fam for a while until we all got bored with looking at each other. Decided to go to Champaign and see what was lurking. Turns out, nothing. Drove around aimlessly for quite a while. Went and grabbed a slice at Garcias and watched 24 on the TV there for some reason to kill time. Drove around more. Went to Best Buy to see Jim and find out if anyone else was in town. Got Carlson's number, gave him a call, met up with him, Matt Dewey, Bazzell, and some other randoms at Chili's. Drank some strong-ass Crown & Cokes. Headed over to Guido's. Drank a lot more. Headed to Rock's (formerly Central Tap) to meet up with some 18y/o chicks who couldn't get into Guido's. One of them told Dewey she wanted things to me with her mouth and stuff. That was entertaining. I apparently still have it. Drank a lot more because I was way too old to be at Rock's and not homeless. (whole bar was primarily douchbags and old homelessish dudes). Went back downtown to Merry Ann's for the Stack action, and additional biscuits & gravy, cuz I'm trying to kill myself like that. Lots of coffee. Drove home around 4a, mom was still painting the living room. Went to bed.

Sunday: Woke up at 11 or so. Hung out around the house for a bit, ate the Easter eats with the fam, drove home. Record time, 2 hours, 20 minutes. I rule. Caught up on TV, went to bed early.

I definitely killed two birds this weekend on the interstate. Both were in flight at the time, which is more awesome. Compounded with the fact I was going 90 at both times, it made for a messy weekend. On the way in, poor bastard tried his damndest to fly (directly) away from me, instead of you know, going up. Bounced square off the headlight into the ditch. Cleaned up some blood when I got home.

On the way back, one was shooting perpendicularly across the highway when I tapped it (again, going 90ish). Saw stuff fly into the ditch again, figured I got a clean hit and didn't think twice about it. Neighbor knocked on my door around 4 to let me know I had a bird in my car. I asked if it was actually inside my car or what, and he said no...mostly in your hood, some in your grill. Nasty. So, I spent about a half hour removing the bird sections from the hood, cleaning blood off the mirror, poop off the rest of the car. Pretty sweet.

Look out, birds.

Monday, April 02, 2007

double u ee-ee kay to the E-N-D

Friday: Drove home in massive monsoonish downpour. Acquired food somewhere, grabbed booze from home, and went over to Helen & Eric's new place with the Lowns to chill for a bit. Watched Beth get plowstered. Funnay. Home and passed out early due to tired.

Saturday: Woke up by Ellen screaming because there was a bird chirping at 630am. She got Mcdonald's, we ate it, then went to bed again. Woke up at 11:30 or so, got ready, and met Chet at Los Caporales for the sweet mexican nectar. Finally got Ellen to go back. She ate chips and frijoles. Wuss. Hauled ass to St. Pete (34 minutes, what?) and met lowns/lammles for wine action. Loaded up the cars and drove along some awesome windy-ass roads to Augusta, MO area and worked our way through the wineries. Had some stuff that didn't suck, I apparently am all about the Nortons now. Wound up grabbing a late dinner at Trailhead in st. chuck. Hauled ass back to Collinsville to let out our near-exploding dog. Lowns came over, and we all jacuzii'd for a bit until we decided we were too tired to drink and split up. In bed by 1:30 or so I think.

Sunday: Woke up to a beautiful fucking day, and ruined it with chores and shit. Moved all the yard waste that'd been sitting in paper bags and rotting since September into new bags and out to the curb. Mowed the yard, which it desperately needed. Washed/waxed the Mustang, nate/beth came over with chicken and beer, so after I finished the stang and nate washed his truck, some grilling and drinking was done while we watched the good ole boys with the awesome crane deal cut down our neighbor's tree. Almost sold one of them Beef Supreme, and think we have a sweet hookup on tree removal projects, w00t.

Spent some time hanging out with Sean/Claire (neighbors), and their chihuaua, which was cool, all about the neighborhood face-time. Think that's it. Threw the dog and wife in the convertible and cruised around for a bit before swinging through DQ for some blizzards, went home and watched Flyboys and got all dissappointed. Movie had such awesome potential, but the story was just BLAH. Completely capitalized blah. I didn't give 2 shits about any of the characters I remembered. Dissappointing.

Been dealing with some wicked-ass employee issues today. People are scary and stupid.