Kill two birds with one....Mustang.

Friday: Went on a faux date with Beth and Helen/Eric to Olive Garden. Drank a lot, ate ravioli, changed a tire on beth's car, came home, drank beer and played xbox.


Saturday: Woke up around 8, on the road by 9. Drove to Ptown, got in at 11:45 or so, grabbed Just Hamburgers, fucking incredible as always. Ate and hung out with the fam for a while until we all got bored with looking at each other. Decided to go to Champaign and see what was lurking. Turns out, nothing. Drove around aimlessly for quite a while. Went and grabbed a slice at Garcias and watched 24 on the TV there for some reason to kill time. Drove around more. Went to Best Buy to see Jim and find out if anyone else was in town. Got Carlson's number, gave him a call, met up with him, Matt Dewey, Bazzell, and some other randoms at Chili's. Drank some strong-ass Crown & Cokes. Headed over to Guido's. Drank a lot more. Headed to Rock's (formerly Central Tap) to meet up with some 18y/o chicks who couldn't get into Guido's. One of them told Dewey she wanted to...uh...do things to me with her mouth and stuff. That was entertaining. I apparently still have it. Drank a lot more because I was way too old to be at Rock's and not homeless. (whole bar was primarily douchbags and old homelessish dudes). Went back downtown to Merry Ann's for the Stack action, and additional biscuits & gravy, cuz I'm trying to kill myself like that. Lots of coffee. Drove home around 4a, mom was still painting the living room. Went to bed.

Sunday: Woke up at 11 or so. Hung out around the house for a bit, ate the Easter eats with the fam, drove home. Record time, 2 hours, 20 minutes. I rule. Caught up on TV, went to bed early.

I definitely killed two birds this weekend on the interstate. Both were in flight at the time, which is more awesome. Compounded with the fact I was going 90 at both times, it made for a messy weekend. On the way in, poor bastard tried his damndest to fly (directly) away from me, instead of you know, going up. Bounced square off the headlight into the ditch. Cleaned up some blood when I got home.

On the way back, one was shooting perpendicularly across the highway when I tapped it (again, going 90ish). Saw stuff fly into the ditch again, figured I got a clean hit and didn't think twice about it. Neighbor knocked on my door around 4 to let me know I had a bird in my car. I asked if it was actually inside my car or what, and he said no...mostly in your hood, some in your grill. Nasty. So, I spent about a half hour removing the bird sections from the hood, cleaning blood off the mirror, poop off the rest of the car. Pretty sweet.

Look out, birds.