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Sunday, December 27, 2009

"Nothing is permanent except change"

Yep, sorry. Still a few days left in 2009, which has been officially dubbed 'The Rollercoaster Year' by the Naming of Years committee (me).

With that in mind, I have to get some more poignancy and reflection in still. So, apologies.


I was dead-set on getting the title of this post tattooed on my arm, even as recently as a few weeks ago. I changed my mind, though, and I'm glad I did. While I think the quote rings completely true on so many levels, I think it's a tad dark, and doesn't really reflect my outlook on life. Yes, change is inevitable. If you don't accept that change, you're destined to be miserable. Change MUST be embraced, because, while it's important to lay claim to, and nudge your own direction in life, it's not all in your hands. There will always be external influences to your path. Some for the better, some for the worse.

In short, shit happens. But conversely, awesome also happens.

And as long as you're a human, a social creature existing on this earth with other humans, and interacting with the world around you, you leave yourself subject to those happenings, for better or worse.

You form friendships and relationships with other humans also existing on this rock. And those invariably end. Be it through a natural occurrence, an external influence, or your own choosing, it's bound to happen sooner or later. And depending on the situation, those endings are either going to be a source of devastation, elation, something in the middle, or even a combination sometimes. But no matter what, after the dust settles, you have the opportunity to rebuild; rebuild yourself, help rebuild those around you.

And that's the beauty of it. If we want to stay on the construction metaphor for a minute, you learn from your engineering mistakes. You know what worked, and what didn't, so you can rebuild stronger the next time around. If you help someone rebuild, you can offer input to help them rebuild stronger as well. And even if you're unable to help in the rebuilding process, at least you can help with cleaning up the mess left behind from a sudden demolition.

While the first half of 2009, was, for the most part, completely uneventful, the 2nd half was insane, especially in comparison. And not just for myself, either. Being helped by those close to me was amazing. Being able to help those close to me... Also amazing. Allowing new people into my life, who I was able to help, some just a tiny bit, some more than that, and who also helped me... Amazing as well.

It's a continual journey, and if you're aware that it's actually happening, it's all the more rewarding. And knowing that this is all so fragile and fluid, really allows you appreciate those moments even more. So I guess if I take nothing else out of the year of 2009, it's to be aware, to allow and to act. The 3 A's, I guess.

As far as 2010, I don't know I've ever looked forward to a New Year as much as this one. Sure, I have my material goals. Get a couple certifications. Lose that last 8 pounds I wanted to get rid of before the end of the year. Keep working out. Keep on track with the non-smoking (2 months now). Work on rebuilding my credit which took some pretty massive dings between the move and the divorce.

Beyond that though, I want nothing more than to move forward with my new knowledge, my new outlook, the new people in my life, and actually experience a full New Year.


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