So, last night was Mission: Get Couch (see weekend update below). Commissioned Eric to help with the movering. Ran over to Home Depot in O'Fallon, IL straight from work to grab their rental truck since I knew Collinsville HD didn't have one yet. Home Depot guy informs us that corporate came in last Thursday and took their truck. "Where to?" I ask. "Collinsville." Fuck.
In a moment of clarity, I had him call over before I made the trip back to make sure it was there. They hadn't got it in their system yet, so they couldn't rent it out. Fuck. Headed to Lowe's. Walk up to the service counter. This is the part that made me kill my soul.
"Hi, I need to rent one of your trucks."
"Ok, do you need to make your purchase still?"
"No, just renting the truck."
"Sorry, our policy states the trucks are for customers only, so you need to buy something that requires a truck to move"
"Um... Is there a price minimum or size minimum?"
"Nope."
"So.... like.... what?"
"If you want, just go back to lumber and buy some wood, and then I can get it going."
"So..... what? Can I just go back there and buy one board?"
"Sure."
"So.... I'm going to go back to lumber, buy one $2 2x4 and bring it back, and we'll get the truck."
"Right. I also need a credit card, insurance, and a driver's license."
"K. But I just need to buy one 2x4."
"Yah."
"You do realize that's completely stupid, right?"
"Yeah, but they make us do it."
"Wow."
So, I walk back to lumber, get my 2x4 stud ($2.50) and come back up to the counter.
"OK, I just have to find someone to pull the truck around for you."
"Um, I have one 2x4. I can just carry it to the truck, I'm kinda in a hurry." Furniture place loading dock closed at 7. It was 6:30 at this point.
"Sorry, we have to have an employee move it up front."
So, we wait for Ray to get the truck while we stand out in front of the store with a 2x4, like comlete douchbags. Put the 2x4 in the back, drive over to Lane to get sofa. Get sofa loaded, realize the 2x4 won't fit in the truck, leave it at Lane.
Drove home, got the thing unloaded, took it back.
"Did the truck work out OK?"
"Yah, that 2x4 was very heavy and hard to get in the house, that's what took so long."
Then I killed everyone. The end.
Counter Thingy that Counts Crap
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32 comments:
jk you are a nut. glad you are part of the family!!! I just wanted to pull up what you had eaten lately and saw this. can't wait to drink in the garage again..... hey you really need to buy a truck-amy
LOL I just googled "rent truck from lowes cost" and your blog came up. I just laughed my ass off. Can't wait to go buy my 2x4. That story is classic.
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